Century Casino Caruthersville

So, here I am replying to my post from 7 days ago. Today was the day that I was scheduled to challenge the CISSP behemoth. I was expecting the worst because of several reasons. 1. As I stated in my OP, I have been studying off and on since June, but have been very busy in my job with several projects going on. It's been very stressful and I have been working a lot of overtime to stay on top of everything. We are implementing a new mail server, migrating our ERP to an entirely different cloud platform, implementing a server based HPLC management platform, rolling out O365, upgrading our file server, upgrading and migrating Server 2008 servers, getting all our desktops to Windows 10, and restructuring our shared folders, upgrading our timekeeping system in our plant, among several other things. I have been studying on my lunch breaks, or whenever I can. Sometimes listening to Kelly H. on my headphones at work. Not much consistent, quality study time. 2. It's deer season in Missouri, and my son and I hunt every year. I expected we would bag a deer on opening day, and we didn't so we hunted all last weekend. (Don't judge, we eat what we kill.) Well, he got popped in eye with his scope taking a shot at the biggest doe we ever saw and had to have 7 stitches in his face, so I spent most of last weekend in the deer blind and in the ER. No study time. 3. Felt sick Wednesday night, most likely to a questionable Popeye's Chicken Sandwich. Maybe should have had Chick Fil A instead. Love that chicken from Popeye's though. 3. I took off Wednesday and Thursday afternoon to study. We are adding onto our house, and a couple of contractors decided to stop by and discuss HVAC and garage doors. Studied some, but kept getting interrupted. Plus, I'm not one of those guys that can work from home...I'll play my guitar, friends will stop by, we'll end up drinking and playing corn hole all afternoon. 4. My boss came in Thursday morning and asked me to go to the Chamber of Commerce dinner last night, so I didn't have any time to cram last minute before the test, and I drank several adult beverages. 5. Overslept, woke up at 7:20 and had a 9:00 am appointment at the testing center. I get up, planned on going to Starbucks and getting a nice latte and sitting in the parking lot and reviewing. It's raining outside. I broke the zipper on my favorite pair of jeans. Bad omen. I got ready and made myself a cup of coffee at home, careful not to drink too much so I didn't have to go to the bathroom excessively. I'm just sitting there, staring down at this cup of coffee, and I just got pissed off and said fck it, let's go fail this mother fcker and get it over with so I can at least see the test and know what to expect next time. So I headed to the exam center and signed in 40 minutes early.
So, to digress a minute; emotionally, I went back and forth when I would read this sub. I would read write-ups and be like, there is no way that test is that hard. There is no way the questions are THAT difficult. Then I would tell myself, "don't get over-confident." And I would go back to, "there is no way I could fail that." Reddit was getting to my head. Some guy with 50 years experience and a Ph.D. in Cybersecurity would fail and a single mom with 12 kids that studied between breastfeeding passed. WTF? Are people on here trolling? I would also think about my post after the test..whether I would be writing about passing or failing.
I went in, signed in, went through the enrollment process with the palm vein scan, thinking to myself the whole time, "type 3 authentication, enrollment, throughput, crossover error rate, false acceptance rate...(curious how many people actually do that when taking this exam.)
The nice guy gives me my pens and laminated sheets and takes me in and sits me down. I put my earplugs in, and glance at the guy next to me who is taking the PMP. I read the question on his screen and was like..."Damn, sucks to be him." I accept the agreement and hit start.
The first question kicked me right in the balls. I was like, "really, 149 more like this? WTF?" 30 questions in I am thinking I would have better luck taking that $700 to the Casino and putting it all on red. What the sh*t have I done? About question 94 I look at the clock in the corner of the screen and I don't know if my mind was Jell-O pudding but I got confused and thought the 147 meant 1 hour and 47 minutes (107 minutes), not 147 minutes. Maybe those numbers aren't exactly right, but I freaked out and started clicking questions like crazy. At some point I realized my mistake and slowed back down, but then I had to piss like crazy. I raised my hand, took a break, splashed a little water on my face and came back. I kept getting questions on Domain 8, so I knew I was doing poorly in that domain. Lots of information I had NEVER seen. I was thinking to myself, is that a good sign, or a bad sign? Too many Reddit posts had me analyzing the totality of the test the entire time instead of focusing on the question. Towards the end my brain was shutting down and I was reading a question and the first word was "What" but my brain kept saying "When." I really had to work to focus.
At 150 the test stopped and I was so defeated. I knew I failed. I walked out and the guy signed me out. The lady handed my my paper folded over with no expression. I read about people not looking until they got out to their car, but I couldn't resist. I looked, and I had passed. I let out an enormous sigh. A lady in an office laughed and said she loved that sound. I was getting emotional. I took my stuff out of my locker went out into the hallway, sat down, and cried a little. I think it was the stress leaving my body. I'm a manly guy, but I admit I cried a little.
I went out to my car, and on the windshield, was a parking ticket. Joke on me.
I appreciate all the people here that posted something. Every post helped me in some way, from those that passed and those that didn't. I also thank God, and most importantly my beautiful wife, who supported me to achieve this personal goal. There are harder tests, maybe more prestigious tests, but this test is no easy target and should be respected. It truly is an inch deep and a mile wide. Those that thought it was easy, good on you. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person and I have taken a lot of certs in my day, and this was one of the hardest.
My materials...Sybex Study Guide and the Test Question Book, 11th hour, Kelly Handerhahn (1.5 times speed while I was working on my house or in my car), Sunflower, Memory Palace (better than Sunflower, but longer and not as concise), PocketPrep, and Boson. PocketPrep is just good for terminology, the questions are too easy. One thing I did towards the end, maybe the last month, was highlight all the things I knew inside and out without question. At that point, I stopped studying the highlighted items and focused on things I didn't know.
Cheers, my friends. I will stay on here and help others any way I can.
Mark

When you fly somewhere long haul, you have to fly back. It's inevitable, like gravity. For me, the return flight gives rise to the same old phobias. Namely, my fear of flying. Or more accurately, my fear of landing after falling out of the plane at 37,000 feet.
Take off on a 6am flight involves getting up at WTF o'clock as fatigue fights fear in a bleary eyed cocktail of negative emotions. For me, fear wins every time. I've said it before but take-off is the most dangerous part of a flight, after landing... and the bit in the middle where you're really high up. In reality, once you're above the height at which you can survive a fall, it's pot luck whether you'll reach your destination. Well your preferred destination anyway. It's flip-coin-time. Heads you win, tails you plummet to your death over the North Sea. There's really nothing you can do except hope the inflight entertainment is sufficiently distracting to take your mind off all the bad things that could happen.
I've spent three weeks in South East Asia. I have a nice tan. I think I've lost a few pounds from eating healthy too. It would be a such a waste to die in a plane crash looking this good. The chances of dying in the taxi on the way to the airport are of course far higher, but I'm too tired for common sense. My brain is tuned in to Anxiety FM and no matter how many times I fiddle the dial, I end up on the same song - Spinning Wheel by Blood Sweat and Tears and its ominous opening line: 'What goes up, must come down'.
There are three reasons I fly Air China:
1) The Price; 2) The Blankets; 3) The In Flight Poker.
1) The Price. Low ticket prices mean I have more to spend when I reach my destination.
2) The Blankets. Air China blankets are the best. I've got four at home and will be taking another two from this flight. They're thin and light, yet warm and soft against the skin. They're a technical marvel and should be sold at a premium in camping shops. I don't think you're allowed to take them with you so you might call it stealing, but I'm putting my life on the line by flying so taking a few blankets hardly matters. They've got fucking hundreds of them anyway - it's not like I'm stealing an engine.
3) In Flight Texas Hold'em Poker! I've only just discovered this but there's in flight poker on the TV! You can play against other people on the flight. This will use up at least two hours of my ten hour flight from Beijing to London. Texas Hold'em poker - Yeehaaa!
As I sit on the runway waiting for take off, I read the entertainment brochure. Jackpot! They've updated the movies. New ones include Thor: Ragnorok, Prometheus, Blade Runner 2049 and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. There's so many, I'm almost sad it's only a ten hour flight! Almost.
Five minutes after take off and the pilot is doing some odd maneuvers. He's banking steeply right, then left. It all seems a bit erratic. He's throwing the plane around in a most 'unpiloty' way. This isn't the usual gentle touch I'm accustomed to. He's flying like a London bus driver. What the fuck is he doing? I look around but nobody is paying attention. What is wrong with these people? Why is nobody concerned? My wife, who has been asleep since boarding, looks peaceful. I probably shouldn't wake her at this critical moment. I'm starting to wish I was asleep too. We don't even appear to be climbing now. Why are we not climbing? Now we're heading back in the direction of Beijing International Airport. Oh god, he's not going to fly the plane into the fucking control tower over a wages dispute is he? Hang on. Wait a minute, he's changed direction again. We're climbing and heading in roughly the right direction. Thank fuck.
On to my next neurosis. I spot mountains around the edge of Beijing. We'll be flying over those shortly and that means turbulence. That's if the pilot doesn't fly directly into them on account of his pay dispute. I need to get stuck into these movies to take my mind off these negative thoughts, this turbulence in my head. Fasten my mind-belt! My wife begins to snore very loudly. The other passengers can hear but I don't wake her up. They should consider themselves very lucky if snoring is the worst part of the flight.
Ten minutes after take off and my screen isn't working. Bastards! They teased me with these new movies and I can't even watch them. I need to find some other way of spending the next ten hours. Or find another seat.
Eleven minutes after take off and I need to poop. It's way too early to need to poop.
A cabin crew member walks past and I wave my hand, point to the TV and say "No movie?". Why am I speaking with a Chinese accent? I have no idea, but it works and she says "Yes, later" with a much better Chinese accent than me. Unfortunately, I don't know if she means yes she will come back and help me later or yes the screen will start working later - maybe they are locked during take off or something? She disappears off down the aisle. I think about my poop which is getting bigger and more urgent and more difficult to ignore.
The toilet sign changes from red to green. Green for 'GO!' I assume. Just like a traffic light. Toilet signs should really flash amber as well as red and green. Amber would mean the toilet is vacant but someone has done a giant smelly poop and the cubicle is not safe to use yet. I make a note to patent 'restroom traffic light system' when I get home to London.
I don't want to be first to use the toilet, everyone will stare at me. I look behind for alternative options. The toilets to the rear are nearer - only three rows away. The seats on the way are occupied by passengers either asleep, reading or wearing sleeping masks. That means no judgmental looks. How convenient. I put my shoes on and make a run for it.
The toilets are vacant. It looks like I'm the first one in as the tissues and hand cream are fully stocked and the cubicle is clean and doesn't smell. This restroom is an unspoilt oasis of calm reassurance. Is this the safest place on the plane? It certainly feels like it. I look at the toilet seat then reach for the tissues somewhat deflated as I realize I'm not the first in here at all and wipe considerable amounts of piss off the toilet seat.
After a disappointing bowel movement, I flush. It makes exactly the same sound I expect I would make if I were being sucked out of the plane. This bad thought quickly subsides as the bad smell I've left takes center stage and the search for air freshener commands my full attention. Is this the safest place on the plane? It certainly doesn't smell like it.
There is no air freshener and it really, really doesn't smell good in here at all.
I wash my hands using lots of soap hoping the strong soap smell will mask the odor of poop and I'm still pondering whether it does as I open the door and come face to face with the next user - a handsome young man in his twenties who smiles at me and looks me in the eyes. We both know I can't pretend what he is about to smell wasn't me and we exchange appropriate looks: me surprised but apologetic and him a mixture of trepidation and relief (that the toilet is free). Good luck young Padawan, as Obi Wan Kenobi might have said exiting the toilet on a long haul flight a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. May the Force be with you. It seems pointless trying to salvage some dignity by telling him I wiped the seat, so I just turn and walk down the aisle back to my seat - not too fast, that could be interpreted as an admission of guilt. If only the toilets had an amber flashing light, he could have given it another few minutes and we would have avoided this awkward exchange.
Back in my seat and my fucking screen STILL isn't working. The people in front have working screens. Why isn't mine working? Where are the cabin crew?
I take off my shoes and wiggle my toes. Can I do this for the next 9 hours? Probably not.
1 hour 35 minutes after take off and my screen starts working. Yes! We're back in business. I'm going to watch Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - an Oscar nominated film starring Frances McDormand and without doubt the optimum way to spend the next 1 hour 37 minutes. I haven't even checked the time to destination yet. Or the ground speed, altitude or outside temperature. This flight is going to fly by!
I hit play and a Mercedes Benz advert begins. No problem, I guess advertising pays for the film rights or something. It's a long advert and it's in Chinese. Oh, here's another one for Cadillac. And another long one for Lexus. This goes on and on a with ads for Qualcomm, Acura, Renault and BMW. I didn't realize buying movies was so expensive. Finally the advert marathon ends and the opening credits roll. Then a bing-bong sound, the movie stops and we're interrupted by a passenger announcement, in Chinese. I wait for the English version but nothing. Never mind, I'm sure it wasn't important. The movie resumes and I can finally relax. Then my screen goes blank.
FUUUUUUUUCCK.
The cabin crew come round with food. The chef has kindly prepared beef rice and seafood rice, probably last week and in a different country. When the cabin crew lady says seafood rice I understand but say pardon to get her to repeat it as I like the way it sounds in her Chinese accent.
Cabin Crew - 'Sea-for-the rice' Jerry - 'huh?' Cabin Crew - 'Sea-for-the rice' Jerry - 'oh ok'
I go for the beef.
My screen decides to start working again which means I can indulge in one of life's finest pleasures, eating on a plane whilst watching a movie.
I finish my food by the time the advert marathon ends and the movie begins.
The Cabin crew come round with drinks. I have coffee. Hmm. I'll enjoy this movie with a niiiice coffee! Four minutes into the movie and the main character is asking what she can and can't say/write on a billboard. It's the classic scene from the trailer.
"I assume you can't say 'fruit'?"
Fruit?
It's "fuck" in the trailer. It's been censored and dubbed. Fruit doesn't even make sense in the context of the scene. I can't watch this movie if it's censored for language. Sorry. It is specifically Frances McDormand's hilarious swearing that made me want to see this movie. Bastards. I'll have to watch something else.
I use the weird remote-on-a-rope thing to navigate back to the home screen. There is an annoying lag. I hit the wrong button and the screen freezes again. Then goes blank. Then inexplicably takes me to the English / French / Chinese language options screen. I squeeze various rubbery buttons on the shitty remote, desperately trying to get some response. It's starts working but I appear to have changed the language to Chinese.
After five minutes I somehow get back to English and the home screen. The lag has gone. What is it with this computer? It's got a mind of its own and a bad attitude. I hope this isn't what AI is like in the future. Computers trying to wind us up everyday. Silently misbehaving and laughing behind our backs in binary code. Appropriately I select Bladerunner 2049, a Sci-Fi movie about human replicants. How do you punish a replicant or AI entity for bad behavior? Threaten to switch them off? Install an old operating system to make them feel old? Wave a magnet in front of them? I hope somebody is thinking about this and has a plan for when the machines finally turn on us. I sit through all the adverts again wondering what they've cut from Bladerunner 2049. There's no swearing as far as I can remember. There's the odd pair of tits but censoring them won't ruin the plot.
They have censored the tits and ass. They used those weird giant pixel things to obscure parts of the actress. That's better than cutting the whole scene I suppose and also avoids the possibility of unwanted inflight erections. I can't complain.
I watch half of the movie, then I play poker. I eliminate 17 people And get 2,700 credits. I should play poker for real. I'd be rich! I turn to show my wife my score but she's still asleep. Why am I gambling with fake money on a flight from Beijing to London when I could be getting seriously rich gambling with our life savings in a real casino? This could be the career move I've been waiting for. Jerry Schitnuggitz - Professional Poker Player. I'm tempted to wake my wife to tell her but I'll just throw the idea into a random conversation when we've landed. Catch her by surprise! That's the best way to approach these things, don't make too big a deal of it, throw her a curve ball when she's not expecting it. I'll get a good reaction, I'm sure. Becoming a professional Texas Hold'em poker player is definitely one of my better inflight ideas.
I look at the map of our progress. We are over some huge mountain range in Russia. It runs north to south. And also south to north, obviously. The map view pans out and we are about half way to our destination. Wow. I thought we were nearly home but we've got another five hours before we land.
Do I watch the rest of Blade Runner 2049 or have another poop? Decisions decisions. I wiggle my toes again instead.
The mischievous AI has changed the map to English language. We are flying past somewhere called Yekaterinburg. Isn't that where Russian communists shot Prince Philip's cousins? Didn't the Russians shoot down a passenger jet over the Ukraine a few years ago? I hope they don't shoot us down. What would that feel like? Maybe I'd get lucky and survive the explosion and fall and land in a tree or a deep snow drift and survive. That would be annoying - landing in soft Russian snow alive, then freezing to death on the ground.
2,344 miles to our destination.
Time to destination 4 hours 46 minutes.
Ground speed 487 mph.
Altitude 38,000 feet.
Outside air temperature -99 degrees Fahrenheit.
I decide to watch A Walk In The Woods starring Robert Redford. It's about Bill Bryson walking 2,000 miles along the Appalachian trail with his friend. I hit play and watch the familiar 15 minute Mercedes Benz / Cadillac / Lexus / Qualcomm / Acura / Renault / BMW 'advertithon'...
I wake up.
We are already descending. We're less than one hour from London! I've done it. I've survived another flight. The movie is paused 15 minutes before the ending. It was a great movie as I remember, but I don't have time to watch the rest of it. I need to get another game of poker in and discretely pack two of those Air China blankets into my wife's hand luggage before the cabin crew start snooping around. If you know what happens at the end of A Walk In The Woods, do write in to the usual address and tell me, I'd love to know.
A flight in the sky should end exactly the way this one did, a gentle touch down, some brief taxiing before coming to a complete stop outside Terminal 2 with nobody dead. I've said it before but flying is by far the safest way to travel. That's a fact.
Welcome to Terminal 2! I look out the window, it's grey and overcast. Why do they call it a Terminal? Sounds like something that leads to a slow death. It should be called a Birth. Your flight has arrived at Birth 2. I always feel reborn when I land, like I've been given a brand new shot at life. A second chance. Congratulations passenger E34, you're alive!
A walk in the woods, a flight in the sky, a taxi ride home. It's all a walk in the park for this seasoned, fearless traveller of the skies as I stride confidently towards baggage claim. Jerry Schitnuggitz - Brave Air Miles Collector and Bold Manly Sky Captain. I'm smiling to myself as my wife interrupts:
"What the fuck is this?" she says to herself pulling two Air China blankets out of her bag.
I pretend I didn't hear and change track like the genius I am:
"Have you heard of Texas Hold'em poker? I've had a great idea."